Monday, February 8, 2010

Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Cambodian, Indian, Vietnamese, and Filipino

YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF...
1. You got have fish sauh wi every meal.
2. You spen so mut time in top-leh, bikini coffee shop an in "Qua'n Nha^. u (Vietnamee bar)...!
3. If you don get "Pho*~", you die soon or lattah.
4. You an you famly care about Educasha an at leat you guy try do something about it.
5. Someone in you famly is Nail/ha! ir/Taxi/Fishing businee or in cloth businee.
6. You drie bran new Lexu, Honda o Acura or Toyota 4Runnah.
7. You carry big bok of instan noodoe in you car trung.
8. You shop at 99c store, flea mahket, K-Mar, Costco, Rohh an Mashall.
9. You have banana, chili o all kind veggie in you backyar.
10. You ahh moe room to rent fo ektra ing-come.
11. You favrite bee Heinekee.
12. You favrite speaker a JBL an Boe.
13. Mose you guy half Karaoke sytem an big creen Sony in you famly room.
14. You nevah thing o travel on Fir Clahh in you life.
15. You Mom has specia taye about jewlry & real tate.
16. Someone in you famly on some kine o welfeh.
17. You prefer use cash rather than check or credit car.
18. You care about politic buh do nothing about it.
19. You haye being mix wi otha Asian guy.
20. You don lie otha Vietnamee guy eitha.
22. you are not fraid of black peepoe or anykine p! eepoe.
23. You can make moe monee wi less tie an effor than otha Asian Guy.

YOU ARE INDIAN IF...
1. Yer unc-kelle ish shome kaind of Dak-terre.
2. Yer bro-therres en you er shome kaind ef Com-puterre Engi-neerre.
3. Yer Mom en Pop own a mo-telle, Se-ven EE-leven or Gash Station.
4. Ye hette to spend money, my friend!

YOU ARE CAMBODIA IF...
1. You famly ha Donut shop.
2. You eat smelly perished cat.
3. You know well about some sort invisible spirit an powah.
4. you are good cursing people to make them sick o die.

YOU KOREAN IF...
1. You smoe an drin too much.
2. You die instanly if you stop dring Soju an! eat Kimchi.
3. You spenmoe tie in bar than at home.
4. You eitha d! rie Hyundai o Mercedee.
5. You play piano.
6. You actual sorry that Mah-gret Cho sitcom cancel. (whatever)
7. You fraid black peepoe.
8. You only condut businee wi locah Korea businee.
9. You speak Korea in 99.98 of time on socia occasion.
10. You have least one relative who owe a liquo stoe.
11. You thing you superia to all Asian.

YOU JAPANESE IF...
1. You obsed wi you haih, you cah, an you cloe.
2. You wan marry Korea American o Chinee American womah (males); or you wan marry white gai (females)
3. You extreme polite an act innocent.
4. You feet look funny in way you walk.
5. You fraid black peepoe.
6. You thing you superia to all Asian.

YOU CHINESE IF...
1. You thing you smartest peepoe in wald.
2. You haf pager and cell phoe wi you all time.
3. When you an 2 other guy talk, peepoe thing you fai-ting.
4. Today steam rye tomorrow fry rye.
5. Dim Sum you breakfah.
6. Noodle you din-nah.
7. You don lye eat FISH.
8. Most member in you fam-ly wear denture at young ade.
9. You mose favrite collah RED.
10. you fraid black peepoe.
11. You thing you superia to all Asian.

YOU ARE FILIPINO IF...
1. You wan tu bi a dansir, a singir, or an aktore, ibin dough you hab dayjob as a nars, a siyo guard, a dis wasir, a witir/witris or an accountant.
2. Yu kp tilling ebriwan dat a mimbir op yur pamili back home is a politisyan or a mobi-estar.
3. Yu brot lots ob dried pises when coming back prom bikisyon in Pilipinas.
4. Yu like wearing GOLD on yur iir, nick, hans an pinggers.
5. At leas one mimbir ob yur pamili is a nars.
6. Yur sister or daughter marries a U.S. miliatry serviceman, hay naku!
7. Der ar 20 pipol sharing roms in yur home.
8. Yu hab at leas 2 PULL-TIME jobs.
9. Yu ar nat aprid ob egots; in pact, yu wis yu wir black.
10. Yu don't care ip yu ar superyor to all ader Asians.

(source: somebody emailed it to me a long time ago.)

3 comments:

Jaclyn said...

Well I'm a Filipino but me & my family are not like that. First of all we don't wish to be Black nor marry someone from US, in fact we hate it. My family are all professionals (lawyer, accountants & office workers) not like the ones that you put there. And can you please spell your words correctly. Frankly I'm having hard time understanding what you've written. You maybe stereotyping those with Bisayan accent but pls us Manilenos don't speak like that, OK. Don't be stupid.

Anonymous said...

Why do you talk like that? It's not funny...it's quite insulting, actually. Most of the stuff you've written isn't even true to begin with. Please find something more productive to do with your time. Thanks

Anonymous said...

That was very pathetic. Funny but pathetic ignoramus.