Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Had Yoga-Pilates yesterday with Philip who learned it in America. All the stretching looks boringly easy but after 10 minutes, I and Manny, the only other exerciser in the room, were panting and sweating and complaining. Philip was relentless. I barely had time to fix my falling hair every time we got up from lying down. No time even to readjust my oversized T-shirt during push-ups so that my bra wouldn't peek through and reflect in the mirrors along the walls. The one-hour session had us contorting in Mountain Pose, Extended Mountain Pose, Cobra Pose, Tiger Pose, etcetera animal pose. All the inhales and exhales had to be executed to the rhythm of the flexing and unflexing of our stomach muscles. (If ever the financial crisis catches up with me too and I become too poor to afford gymming, I can always do Yoga-Pilates at home on just a mat. How reassuring.) 

One of the useful things i learned that night was this: the abs can only be as strong or as weak as the back because their muscles are interconnected and go around the body kind of like a flowerpot. 

The highlight of the session, however, was during downtime when Manny and I got chatty about my ambitious houseplans and Manny's husband whose highblood spun out of control last year resulting to his early death at 44. Manny's revelations blew me away:

1. The man you marry will not be the same man ten years later. (And she didn't mean for the better.)

2. If Manny could turn her life back she wouldn't have married at 22. Too young she now says. 27 is a better age. 

3. 80% of Manny's friends would love to leave their husbands but can't because they're financially dependent on the jerks.

4. Manny was busier when her husband was still alive. She was so busy, she never had time to go to the gym. "My husband wasn't very open-minded," Manny muses.

I couldn't help asking, "So it's a good thing our husband died, isn't it?"

Manny: (Smiles) Yes.

Maya: "So you're saying you're happier now than when he was still alive?"

Manny: (Laughs) Yes.

(An honest question gets an honest answer.)

Manny was quick to point out, however, that she didn't mean to discourage me. It's fate probably she mused. "Some get lucky but for most people I know, marriage is a drag more than it's supposed to be liberating." How insightful of her. I rephrased her point: "In other words, you're saying that it's better to be single and in control and happy than married with kids but not really happy and always wishing you could be happier." 

Before we parted ways, Manny and I agreed that whatever state a person's in - whether single or married - it's important to try to be contented and not always wish for this and that. Contentment, according to Ghandi,  is the secret to happiness. Heck, I'll make that my goal this year. 

Peace out!


Ken Nodalo said...

That's lame.

You should marry.

Everybody does.

She's just unfortunate...maybe. But I know a lot of happy couples. My lolo and lola too...they're now in their 70's and mind you magkatabi pa rin sila natutulog sa gabi.


MayaFlaminda said...

Kenny, dearie, I don't find that joining the bandwagon is reason enough to get married too. Now THAT's lame! :-)

Ken Nodalo said...

Good point. But, you know what? Most of the middle-aged single women I know are either masungit or bugnutin hehehe...kidding aside.

Jobo the Bored said...

it is not really required in life that one should get married. i mean we have freedom and we can do anything we want. we could marry some1 or we could choose not to. the important thing is that are happy in what we do.

MayaFlaminda said...

Really Kenny? I know plenty of unattached women who are cheerful and optimistic and that's precisely because they don't worry about men. I know a couple of married teachers though who are masungit and bugnutin. haha! Marriage, if you don't handle it well, can be very stressful. One of my best friends who recently got married advised me to relish my singlehood. Jobo understands. ;D

Francia Clavecillas said...

Great blog! I just discovered this blog from your Facebook link. I will read all your articles. They all look exciting! For now, I'm just breezing through all of them.

You take very good photos, Maya!
Of course, your writing style - what can I say - hanep talaga! You just seize readers by the collar with your writing style.