Saturday, March 14, 2009

What's the best way to remove butt shit - water or toilet paper?


Belgians said: Toilet paper
Filipinos said: Water

Last night at De Bonte Koe, hygiene was the topic of discussion.

With toilet paper, one doesn't need to touch shit. The downside is that toilet paper can't guarantee all the shit's removed. On the other hand, with water, one has to touch shit. (Eww...) The upside is that the butt is really clean. Especially with soap.

The Belgians saw the logic in the water. They just didn't want to touch shit.

The Filipinos advised: Dip the toilet paper in water then wipe your butt. Don't forget to wash your hands after.

Belgians: Yes but first you gota wipe your butt dry. How to do this without toilet paper?

Me: I always carry toilet paper. Do the same. Otherwise, shake your butt dry. (I was half kidding about the butt shaking.)

Rachel had a better tip: Don't wet your whole butt. Wet only the part where the butt cheeks come together.

Belgians: How???

Me: Don't sit on the toilet bowl! Squat! Hold the "kabo" with one hand and wipe your butt with the other hand.

Rachel: Pour water on your hand then wipe the butt. In this way your whole butt doesn't get wet - just the part where the shit comes out.

This transcription looks like we had a serious conversation but that's because I removed all the LOLs.

Isn't it incredulous that there are people who don't take a bath every day, don't comb their hair, don't brush their teeth after every meal, wear the same clothes for one week, and blow their noses with handkerchiefs (which they then neatly fold and put into their pockets like some sort of souvenir) - yet can't bring themselves to touch shit? 

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

ahahahaha! kataw anan mani na topic oi. pero helpful and informative. ahihihi. squatting jud diay tama kung mag ilo sa lubot? hahaha! mao!

-al

Keith said...

Sigh. imagimne my despair, as an american, when I found myself in a mall CR, and was unprepared... I was grateful to discover a tabo (kabo?) next to me, and was able to leave the room.... Amazing what a man can take for granted

bitchvarsity said...

i didn't know wiping shit was an intricate art =)

MayaFlaminda said...

now you know. :D

Ken Nodalo said...

I admit I've been using water and soap since time immemorial. Toilet paper, like you said, can't exterminate all the shit. I tried it though, but it gives me an uneasy feeling. So I really look for a "tabo" then wash my butt cheeks with water (with my left hand of course). Using soap gives me extra-confidence (lol). And the toilet paper dries my wet "puwet". But hey, I wash my left hand with soap after each "deposit session".

MayaFlaminda said...

Hehehe Thanks for the info Ken! Very uh graphic. :D

claire said...

hahahahahaha. nice one, may. this has been a topic of conversation for jem and his workmates as well.. hahahaha. the solution: a bidet!

MayaFlaminda said...

Yes a bidet indeed. But what if there's no bidet? Kabo nalang jud. :)

Anonymous said...

butt shit. nuff said

sexleksaker said...

I LOVE SHIT!

Lustfull said...

Great blog.